Turkey Creek Jack Johnson
Henry Ford
William Henry Marsh, governor of Hong Kong 1882-83 and 1885-87
Alan Slough (born 1947), footballer who played for Luton Town and Fulham
Yao Fen, Chinese badminton Olympic medal winner
George Strait
Brooke Shields
Lisa Flood (born 1971), Canadian swimmer
Christopher Poole, founder of 4chan
Ri…

Frank Black! Yeah! He's on the case.

Goat derbies and turnip milkshakes!

Va-va-vooooom!!!

You'd be a better narrator if you just repeatedly asked the universe who it was, like in a Terrence Malick movie. If you can't do that, stop posting. You'll never beat Flaubert Cooper's record of pointless ubiquity. Just stop. Go outside. Sell some lemonade. It's summer.

And your cat said "fiddle-die-dee."

Oh, so nobody on the AV CLUB likes silly things on the Internet anymore? Huh.

Who doesn't like dessert in their mouth?

I can't see any 3-Dees with my trifocals!

Tell Arsenio it was nothin personal. Only business.

Remember those Cabbage Patch kids who hate your hair?

Oy, at least we can get this clever new show about a lawyer who DOESN'T have a law degree (!)

Fanart, fanart, oy vampa nah schpiel!

I'll bet she knows all about Moosehead, then.

And here I thought a "lad magazine" was something entirely different! Oy!

I ain't had a good roll since that one strawberry danish I had squeezed between Jane Russell's tits.

She just ain't in my league, buddy.

I thought that headline read "Clay Aiken."

First!
Suck my big Vigoda cockamamie!

And look at that big strong arm! She could toss me around, I bet. Maybe she's a tr@anny.