Count Olaf is his penis.

His Christian name is Matt Richter, as he is clearly the love child of Matt Damon and Andy Richter.

You know what sucks? This means he is playing Outside Lands also. Ugh.

Kirk: "You're letting me go?"
Cracker Factory Executive: "Kirk, crackers are a family food, happy families. Maybe single people eat crackers, we don't know.
Frankly, we don't want to know. It's a market we can do without."
Kirk: "So, that's it after 20 years? 'So long. Good luck?'"
Cracker Factory Executive: "I don't…

"Kids, let me tell you about another so-called [makes quotation marks with fingers] 'wicked' guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas. He didn't always do what other people thought was right. And that man's name was… I forget. But the point is… I forget that, too. Marge, you know what I'm talking about. He…

"I'm Louis the Lifeguard and happy to say, I rescued a drowning potato today." Man, I used to drive my sis up the wall singing that one in the back of the Buick station wagon.

Works on contingency? No, money down!

I do not understand the hate for Todd.  Anytime Matt Damon and Andy Richter have a baby together, you will get nothing but kindness, with occasional sidekick patter. 

They will be there along with Phoenix. 

As we used to say when I was a kid, a chick like that could suck a cock through a picket fence.

He met the need for the greatest fuck you breakup song of all time in Now You Know.  That little number makes your brain bleed even when played at low volume.  Ah, we bit into a rotten one, now didn't we?     

He met the need for the greatest fuck you breakup song of all time in Now You Know.  That little number makes your brain bleed even when played at low volume.  Ah, we bit into a rotten one, now didn't we?     

What are you doing Herb?

What are you doing Herb?

Too bad he didn't do the same for New Coke.

Too bad he didn't do the same for New Coke.

And to top it all off they fuck it up so bad they actually let him escape? 
Jesus. 
Fucking white people can't do anything right. 

And to top it all off they fuck it up so bad they actually let him escape? 
Jesus. 
Fucking white people can't do anything right. 

Especially not the ones that hit him in the face. 

Especially not the ones that hit him in the face.