Even though I've seen every single episode (I'm actually about two behind), I had to check to see if this was an actual Duffman line.

If men could get pregnant abortions would be available at 7-11 for $9.99 with a free Big Gulp.

Yahweh prescribes non-scientific instructions for performing an abortion in Numbers (it also is supposed to make a woman barren for life). You know, they stuff they teach in Sunday School.

Those advertising budgets don't pay for themselves. The big four XOs are incredibly overpriced.

He can't read.

Sorry. I like your commentary on this site though. Make an amputee's limb regrow and we'll talk.

But I don't even believe in Jebus.

Come visit us here where the beer flows like wine. There's nary a filter concerning language.

I was saying Boooooooooo!

Rhino he does.

I found Gerber Ham & Ham Gravy, but no Gerber Bacon. You'll have to do with teething on Beggin' dog treats for now baby.

Have you watched Jon Glaser Loves Gear yet? It's awesome. GEEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRR!

Life's way too short to refrain from farting into phones.

Those blintzes were terrible!

A refreshing bit of honesty there.

All of the things.

Correction: Electrical College.

Maybe Trump can bring back Tipper and create a new Cabinet position: Secretary of Decency.

That Sophie is delicious, but I try not to buy AB InBev!

This still may be my favorite Zelda game. I would stay up all night with my best bud playing it, long before I even knew what the hell Trump was.