Exactly the phrase that came to mind. Or perhaps when I've had too much to drink and say, "Listen here pall…"

Poor Paul. Used to be Saul, then he had an epileptic fit. Changed his name to Paul. All the Christians were like, "Hey, you look an awful lot like that Jewish dude Saul who didn't like us." "No. My name's…Paul. And I've had my Damascene Moment. From now on I'll persecute women instead of you!" "Thanks Paul! [1900…

I immediately knew it because my cute mom once texted me about "Paul bearers." When you die, your name becomes Paul.

Well-Scissored Vag?

Indeed. I live among THE 1%. Something something Groucho Marx quote. Seriously, misanthropy has come strikingly easily here, and yet, I can't leave.

Talk about boner time for young Duffman!

Thanks for reminding me what a funny brand name Fudd is.

Ha, I was just teasing you. The way my current job is going I may actually soon be one of those guys spinning and flipping the sign on the side of the road. Full (ego) stop.

You forgot to add "full stop" to that last sentence.

Theologian?

Sounds like a scene that needs to be in Yes Man 2.

Reload was "Piss and Blood," while Load was "Blood and Semen III."

I have a Windows phone. I'm in the 1%!

One a penny, two a penny, shoot me now.

Please tell me he played Hot Cross Buns. There's no way that could ever get old.

Purple's a fruit.

That line actually caught me off guard and definitely made me laugh out loud. I thought he was going to talk about Charlie pounding off, but no, awesome random reference.

This guy…this is not my kind of guy.

The correct terminology is "hanging dong."

I keep telling you, I'm not a pilot!