As long as Carson Palmer's knee doesn't blow up again the Cards have reason for optimism this season. So, yeah, we're fucked. As usual.

Who authorized this Full House story? Dammit, Lifetime, you're a loose cannon!

Jesus. I have no idea. I am not equipped to comprehend this level of byzantine sexual conspiracy. Anyway, I vote yes.

Do not ask for whom's the barrel hole, the barrel hole's for thee.

What did you mean when you said, "Feel my skills, donkey donkey donkey, donkey donkey?"

It's the Mational Rifle Association.

Yeah, forgot about that one. I might soften on the season if I watched it again, but it was such a slog the first time.

I've watched Buffy seasons 1-6 at least a dozen times. I've watched season 7 once. It has two nice moments: when Xander and Dawn commiserate over their second banana-ness and that thrilling last montage of the the next generation of Slayers going active. And, ok, I liked the letterman jacket episode because it felt…

Blaming this kind of 80's/90's insanity on Hollywood's cocaine habit has become such a cliche, but there's just no other reasonable explanation for how this got made.

You're right, it wasn't. Somebody must have slipped some pills in my jellybeans before I made that comment.

I am an idiot.

Some final thoughts on Wayward Pines-

Basically there's a love triangle between Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, and the Sharknado, which gets resolved when the Sharknado realizes it needs to learn to love itself before it can really be in a relationship.

I'm kind of curious to see where they'll land. I can't think of a single publication that would have run that story. Perez Hilton would've thought twice about it. if they can't be trusted to uphold the good name and editorial standards of freaking gawker…

This sounds like a case for Det.'s Bezzerides and Velcoro.

No, that's the name of the Leonard Cohen song.

I can't get into Sharknado. They made a movie based off a joke about the names of SyFy-channel movies. And Tara Reid's in it! It's a funny joke, I get it. It could be a really great entry in a Cracked.com photoplasty contest for fake movie posters. To actually make the movie just seems redundant.

Frank talks like he learned English from a book of Charlie Sheen's poetry. It's kind of growing on me, though. I'm starting to think it might be part of his whole "lifted himself by his bootstraps" backstory; like he's making of pretense at folksy intellectualism, but he doesn't actually have the erudition to pull it…

*googles "things I like that have the same name as thing I don't like."* Thanks for nothing, Google!

I loved the scene where the First Generation all gathered outside the hospital to honor their fallen comrade with a ceremonial game of rock-paper-scissors.