Jack Bauer has a change of heart and goes on a one-man mission to close Guantanamo and release all of the "enemy combatants" America has unjustly imprisoned. This fall, Keifer Sutherland returns to Fox after a heartbreaking, months-long absence in Twenty IV: The Quest for Peace.

Well, shit. It seemed like such a perfect marriage of directorial experience and film subject matter, too.

It's Stuart Gordon's adaptation of that story of the nurse who hit the homeless guy with her car, drove home with him lodged in her windshield, and proceeded to let him die in her garage over the course of the next few days. Mena Suvari plays the nurse, and Stephen Rea the homeless guy.

Heck yes. I got hooked after his work in Snyder's run on Detective Comics. Seeing him mostly unfiltered on one of his dream projects is just glorious. And the way that hardcover trade looks, I think this is going to be one of those series I wind up owning as single issues and a collection.

I was trying to assemble an ad-hoc trilogy of films to exemplify the U.S. in the 21st century, and what I came up with was Super, Observe and Report, and Stuck.

Could you tell me what he's planning to have for breakfast tomorrow? I'd like to plan my menu ahead of time, if possible.

I still say NBC could've aired 5 minutes of that monkey from Monkey Hospital driving around his little ambulance a couple times a week, and it would've done better than pretty much every new show on the schedule this year.

I'm calling it: Pacific Rim fucks up every other movie that comes out in wide release this year, everywhere except where it counts (box office).

Yeah, but how good's his handwriting?

For what it's worth, internet media, shit like this'd be way easier for me to ignore (and thus not get angry at) if you'd stop reporting on it. I know you need pageviews for ad revenue, and I'm not really helping my cause by actually commenting on one of these articles, but I can't air my obviously valuable opinion if…

Hey, nobody likes paperwork.

I wonder if he realizes he's actually turned into Miracle Max.

The Tomorrow People? Holy cow, I remember watching that one summer on Nickelodeon and getting positively freaked out. If I remember correctly, there were lots of needles.

I've wanted to have a meeting with the CW execs; I really want to pitch Young, Sexy Preacher (Garth Ennis, not "regular priest," though if they're more into that, I could rewrite my script). Also, Young, Sexy Air Traffic Controllers.

More than anything television-related this year, I wish Grizz & Herz was a real show.

Oh, the Veronica Mars thing is even worse, because even though it's their "passion project," they were asking people to throw money at a product that's going to wind up being owned by a major studio in the end. If they'd gone all punk rock with it, and tweaked "Veronica Mars" just enough so it became "Jillian Jupiter"…

It's a never-ending battle between Notorious and North by Northwest, but Notorious being so damn efficient and having Ingrid Bergman usually wins the day for it.

A list of favorite endings could go on forever (and the first list I made did), so I'm limiting myself to one from film/TV/books/comics/music/games (okay, two for TV):

I'm having visions of Neefnorf acting like The Human Ton's puppet Handy in The Tick.

*screams for, like, a really long time*