He just plagiarized Mark.

Who was the cool African American lady that ran under the Green Party in, I believe, 2008? I liked her. Also, Mike Gravel, the only true libertarian to ever belong to the "Libertarian" Party.

Actually, yes, the burden of proof in a civil trial still rests on the plaintiff. It simply has a lower threshold. Criminal trials require evidence "beyond a reasonable doubt," whereas civil trials merely require a preponderance of evidence. Also, this is only a complaint, meaning that in all likelihood, the judge is…

No, but patiently waiting for Too Much Tuna to get its own show.

I have. They're mostly snuff porn and

He terrorized my heart.

Is Sublime hated now? I thought they were one of those mainstream-but-still-cool 90s bands. I mean, they may not be great, but how many of you fucks have willingly listened to that shitty Imagine Dragons' song in the last month? Exactly. Shame is what you should be feeling.

If this gets cancelled, can we have another series of Saxondale? Please?

Anyone who would buy a digital watch is low class. And anybody who would spend more than $100 on a watch is low class pretending to be upper class. Gentlemen wear analog watches that are respectably attractive without being ostentatious. And that is all you need to know about watches. Excuse me now while I drink…

That would actually be entirely within character. That and he'd be wearing a sundress… he stole off the body of a woman he just mustard-gassed.

My dating profile is just stream of conscious free verse and existential pleadings for a woman to kill me and end my lonely existence. Works every time.

You'll do just fine with American women, El Marinero. They'll pony anything with a European accent, including an actual pony.

Was that the one where the idea of North Koreans invading the United States stretched my credulity, or the one where Nicaraguans invading the United States made me laugh at how overblown Americans' delusions of persecution have become?

Computers! Magic!
*Makes woman's clothes disappear*
*Turns head and lowers pink sunglasses, guffawing*
*Cue ubiquitous 80s song by Huey Lewis*

Ledger's Joker kinda sucked, too. Jack Nicholson is by nature a scary human being, so you could put him in a little pink tutu and he'd still be fucking terrifying (if not more so). But Heath Ledger was just like a Republican soccer mom from flyover country's idea of what a homeless person from San Francisco would look…

If this were my barista, I'd worry about getting hepatitis.

I don't care if I'm cool. That makes me the coolest.

But Sammy Jankis was faking…

The Joker needs the makeup artist. He's too busy with his nu-metal band to do it himself.

Fred didn't die. She ascended to godhood. Sexy, waif-ish godhood.