Didn't you ever see Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders? That cranky impotent critic could take down a strip mall with one review! *snaps fingers*

Member when he used organic berries? Member?

"Do you think The Wizard can help me make better tattoo decisions?"
"Do you think The Wizard can get me a new hat?"
"Do you think The Wizard can help me lose weight?"
"Do you think The Wizard can give me some courage?"

Santa vs. Hasidim in a beard-off?! I'm IN!