YO MOMA  I'll give you another tip…you don't have to know how to cook to get to be fat as hell, although it helps. Don't worry about the whole not-cooking thing, and just eat healthy food.

"I'll bet there were lots of people who went belly-up on that one, eh Randolph?"

"I'll bet there were lots of people who went belly-up on that one, eh Randolph?"

Yes. So, are you bringing the Mr. Pibbs and redvines, or shall I?

Yes. So, are you bringing the Mr. Pibbs and redvines, or shall I?

$12?? What about snacks??? And drinks?? Or do you sneak them in from home?

$12?? What about snacks??? And drinks?? Or do you sneak them in from home?

"…inbred anti-intellectual corporate Randian pig-fucking doritos-eating capitalist…" That's why I come here. I'm not clever enough to come up with great insults on my own. The hardest part is having to cut-n-paste 'em to my list.

"…inbred anti-intellectual corporate Randian pig-fucking doritos-eating capitalist…" That's why I come here. I'm not clever enough to come up with great insults on my own. The hardest part is having to cut-n-paste 'em to my list.

man-in-the-moon-man I "liked" your comment for making me laugh, but you also made me say "ewwww" out loud at work. Fuck you.

man-in-the-moon-man I "liked" your comment for making me laugh, but you also made me say "ewwww" out loud at work. Fuck you.

I've seen Jason Bateman in tons of stuff, since we are roughly the same age and he's a former child star, but I agree. The funniest part of that movie (to me) was when Ryan comes barging in, Leslie says, "nice haircut" and Ryan replies, "yeah, I had to get it cut for a fucking tampon commercial." Jason Bateman was…

I've seen Jason Bateman in tons of stuff, since we are roughly the same age and he's a former child star, but I agree. The funniest part of that movie (to me) was when Ryan comes barging in, Leslie says, "nice haircut" and Ryan replies, "yeah, I had to get it cut for a fucking tampon commercial." Jason Bateman was…

I read that as "Ford Prefect".

I read that as "Ford Prefect".

This is a hilarious joke, but it reminds me of when I lived in Vegas, the one time I had a taxi pick me up, the guy spent the entire time regaling me with stories about how he got "paid" by strippers and hookers who didn't have money. (I'm a woman and it creeped me the fuck out.)

This is a hilarious joke, but it reminds me of when I lived in Vegas, the one time I had a taxi pick me up, the guy spent the entire time regaling me with stories about how he got "paid" by strippers and hookers who didn't have money. (I'm a woman and it creeped me the fuck out.)

"…series of body-swap hijinks…" Thank you, O'Neal. I am going to have to figure out how to work that phrase into conversation.

"…series of body-swap hijinks…" Thank you, O'Neal. I am going to have to figure out how to work that phrase into conversation.

Actually, Channing Tatum was very good in A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. Unfortunately, Shia Labeouf was in it as well. Fortunately, he was good enough that you forget he's actually Shia Labeouf. It was a good movie.