"No One Lives Forever" by Oingo Boingo.  Now get up out'cho pews, you limp-dicked cocksuckers!  DRINK AND DANCE!!!

I'll always come back to Young Frankenstein.  Every line, every look, every cue.  To me, quite possibly the funniest film ever made.

I know I'm a couple of days late, but , seriously, no Sifl & Olly?  Really?  That's, like, the greatest sock puppet show ever!

Tom Waits was walking through San Francisco when he saw a sign in the window of a sex shop that said "Used Erotica".  All Tom could think was, "How used is it?  Who used it?  Who's job is it to clean it?  Is that a job you have to apply for? These are the questions that come to me…".

Change is bad.  This cannot possibly end well.  The A.V. Club will be gone by this time next year.  I'll have to go back to reading Bazooka Joe Bubblegum comics to get my quota of media tom-foolery.

I celebrate her entire catalog, but this was the first.  The only album I didn't initially like was "The Red Shoes", but with time it was much better.  And "Aerial" was just beautiful.

"Hounds Of Love" by Kate Bush.  I was 11 when I heard "Running Up That Hill" on the radio, and, well, was changed. It was the first 45 single I bought and the LP was my fist record.  I had never heard anything like it, and I still think "Running…" makes the greatest statement about love of any song I've heard.  29…

Saw Steely Dan in '11, and though they did "Peg" and "Kid Charlemagne" I was surprised when they reached back and did "Showbiz Kids".  And did it dirty and funky.  A particular treat for a great show.

Hey, now, there's an aesthetic to watching oiled, bulging, veiny, sweaty…

Hey, y'all.

Well, I don't know about that.  Have you tried your left hand?

Personally, I don't follow sports because, well, they're boring.  I always thought steroids were a good idea; y'know huge, pumped people (steroids is the sexual equalizer, y'all) rage 'roided out, biting the heads off, well, whatever they can get their mouths around, chewing monkey pituitary glands, and ripping each…

Sounds good.  I think I'll try it next time I BITE YOUR FACE!

Wow.  Bloomberg. Giuliani. Seinfeld.  Sex And The City.  For the last twenty years, it's like they don't want me to go to New York.

Okay, I may just be an old man who doesn't get it, but seriously…who is this buttmunch?  I mean, when he was a kid and had emo hair and stuff, I…well, I still didn't get, but I could see the little ankle-biters going for it.  But has enough time passed for someone to think, "Hey, yeah, that Vanilla Ice look is 'DA…

All right…
Lion face! Raugh!
Lemon face! Mmmmmm!
Lion face! Raugh!
Lemon face! Mmmmmm!
All right…BREAK!

Not just band.  Dildano is a great name for anything!

I think I know you, my dear Plum….

Ain't nuttin' sweet 'bout that, man.

Yeah, sorry.  It, uh, drips, too.