Will he have thirty days to spend thirty million dollars? All of which will be on five Denny's franchises?

Like Hollister models?

*reads fine print on check* "Only payable upon Texas' successful secession from the Union." GODDAMMIT

Not enough Transformers toy references, Barsanti.

It's not nearly as sweet. It's crisper and more refreshing, which is what one would desire from such a soft drink.

Oh, I'm not saying he's a bad actor, I just have never seen him characterized as a "big-name celebrity."

Big-name celebrity…David Schwimmer?

Because you don't technically need a license to drive and there's a certain level of entitled assholery (particularly in Moscow), people figure they can drive however they want. Like parking on sidewalks. Laws are really more like guidelines, as our favorite zombie captain has illustrated before.

The weakest of tea. Ricin. …wait

Only if Comedy Central can keep it 100.

My fantasy of Giada de Laurentiis yelling at me abusively in a kitchen is all the closer to reality…

*jiggle*

I knew this was going to be a piece of shit when I saw the first preview. Now I have to watch it because it's relevant to my thesis *sigh*

Or a mentholated tissue!

Old Man Yells At Emoji

It's the cure-all that cures most!

That kept happening to me too. Adblock>lovin'>hatin'

And the Animatrix collection.

Joe Flanigan or GTFO

Ahh, yeah. And she's going to be in a Scorsese-produced film this year…