The day I learned about infantilism
That's the fetish that leads grown men, doctors, stockbrokers, and CEOs alike, to attend camps where they get diapered, spanked, fed from bottles, and addressed by names like "Baby Jennifer".

I pine for you, Mr. Schumacher
If only your subtle hand had been chosen to give us your vision of Transformers.

The Witwicky family has ALWAYS been a part of the Transformers mythos. It's an excellent example of how the only canon the movie series adheres to is the parts that no one ever gave a shit about.

This is what's hilarious to me. They chose all these new alternate modes for everyone specifically to AVOID the process of mass-shifting, which is why Megatron and Soundwave turn into vehicle-shaped shard masses in this movie instead of a handgun and a tape player. And yet people still complain. Should have just gone…

I owned a hype magazine for this movie, because I was such a cool kid. It was released before the final cut of the movie, so it described how King Koopa actually did de-evolve into a snarling monster that more closely resembled Bowser from the games. You only very VERY briefly see this figure in the movie; I can't…

I was just researching these, and 90% of them just add "Little" somewhere. E.G.:
The Little Cars
The Little Bee
The Little Panda Fighter
Tiny Robots

Pokemon… not so much
If you're looking for distinctively trippy anime of the late 90s, I have to recommend the 'Tom Wyner Trilogy', three otherwise unrelated programs that Saban Productions brought over from Japan and dubbed in a completely irreverent and nonsensical manner that frequently broke the fourth wall and…

Dauber is also Bulkhead in Transformers Animated, a show that's in its third season now and has more depth of character in its farts than Michael Bay would ever dare pray to one day have in his soul. Dauber rules!

The movie isn't based on the cartoon, apart from having one voice actor in common. It's just a new version of the property's core concept, "good guy and bad guy robots come to Earth disguised as vehicles". Transformers fans are well aware of this, having seen it before in several different iterations: the movie is in…

Synonymous, is Up any less a Pixar movie than any other movie we call a Pixar movie? I don't see the distinction apart from that this one's going to be shown in 3D.

That's too good an idea for Bay. It has a lot of possibilities for dramatic historical fiction and not enough wacky farting black people.

The hilarious part
No one has yet asked whether or not the Space Bridge actually has anything to do with Transformers outside of Michael Bay's imagination-free attempt to reimagine the story.

*cough*
"closest thing the Japanese people have to a petulant little brat. "

It gets worse with every word they stick on the end

So you're saying Transformers is… Ruined Forever?

The dreaded Page 36:

Also on the Muppets, let's not forget Jim Henson's timeless follow-up to Mahna Mahna, "Buggy Mugger".

Seriously, how can people think Sweetums's name is 'Jack' when he specifically states it's NOT his name? His line is, "Jack not name, jack JOB!"

Timmy couldn't have been Mysterion— then he would only have been able to say "MYSTERIAAAHN!"

It was Bebe. A male Mysterion wouldn't have called him 'the smartest boy' in the class…and who else would have a list of the smartest boys in the class?