My deadpan responses belie my comprehension of jokes. It's the cross I bear.

I don't care who he has sex with. I just want to see more of that thousand-yard stare accompanied by "Shut the fuck up, [person being addressed]."

I keep an iPod with music in my car because my aftermarket stereo has excellent integration with it. For everything else, there's my Android smartphone.

I'd rather have an all-Mike-all-the-time spinoff. He's an awesome straight man.

And nobody wants that.

I'm not sure how Fallon managed to over-sell something as ridiculous and over-the-top as this song, but there he is, right in the middle of the video, defying reality.