I went and visited my girlfriend's (now wife's) parents in Texas for the first time when she was in her…early 20s, I think. And she sat on her stepdad's lap once, and it kind of freaked me out. Never saw it again, never any hint of anything in appropriate, but I always kind of wondered if that should have freaked me…

And especially since he's Barry Zuckerkorn now.

When will then be now?

I'm with you - far fewer beautiful bathing undine than expected, lots more mosquitoes and leeches.

Fair enough - I've just heard too many folks (either on Dan's podcast, or reading in this column, can't remember) who apparently think trimming is an aspect of hygiene. Which, perhaps it once was, in the time of Charlemagne, when there were no better options for discouraging lice. But not now.

I feel sadly obliged to comment that "trimmed" is not the same as "clean". You can definitely have either without the other.

If you never figured out a way to sexualize "wetlands", you must not have been trying very hard.

I think Diabolik was talking about the Bleeps, the Sweeps, and the Creeps. So google away - worst thing that can happen is you get a video of Michael Winslow wearing a funny hat.

Aaaaaaahhhh I knew it!!!!!

Thank you! I came here to say this if no one else had - the word needs to be spread!

Fair enough - I'm too often oblivious and overserious about these discussions.

No, feminine energy is when She-Ra does her transformation thing. And, since her transformation is way more awesome than He-Man's, it follows that…

Maybe I need to rephrase - it sounds like you're saying that "PLEASE's boyfriend needs to find someone who doesn't mind it when he does things that she minds" or "who doesn't dislike it when he does things that she dislikes." The apparent contradiction was in the mind of the theoretical future girlfriend, not in…

There's merit in some of the things that you've said here, but I think you may have contradicted yourself by going too far with one of your earlier statements. You said: "people who abuse people who don't enjoy being abused are assholes, and PLEASE's boyfriend is an asshole". I might go further than that, but I…

I am a scientist, and you can make two claims here that are very salient: one, that variation in levels of certain hormones is associated with variation in certain behaviors, and two, that on average women and men (and this should probably be read here as "biological women and men" - sex rather than gender) produce…

Okay, three things:

Friend, you have earned one of the more conflicted and complex upvotes I have ever bestowed. I would not wish your experience on anyone, but what a story.

Those are all really good points. I find that it's useful for myself to keep in mind that sometimes, both of these kinds of statements can be true:

But presuming to attempt to answer things is what the Savage Love comment boards are all about!

Being a scientist (also a dweeb), I did a quick Google scholar search on this and found that we don't really have to wonder about porn in general - I found multiple studies showing that adolescent exposure to pornography is associated with a number of things. Some we here would probably call benign, and other things…