I tend to think that there's a big difference between transgressing a cultural "norm" which one may or may not respect, and transgressing one of one's own long-considered, deeply-held values. I think the arousal derived from each is probably pretty different. But then again, maybe I want to think that, because while…

Right on. There are even those who argue that most (all?) gender conforming things are culture specific, even if widespread. But you don't need to go that far to recognize that yesterday's (or right here's) genderfluid is tomorrow's (or over there's) "whatever".

I did not know that 'narcs me off' was a thing. Still not sure that I know what kind of thing it is.

"Maybe my real issue is someone who is willfully ignorant with no desire to be aware". Now that I wholeheartedly agree with. And I recognize that the original question was about dealbreakers, so someone not knowing would just be a sign that that person isn't right for you, which is great. It's just a sore spot for…

Based on this and what Cookie said, looks like I'm not alone like I thought.

I think you're right. That's why I continue to suggest that they include a lab component to more gender studies courses.

I don't remember that from Sesame Street!

I'm not trying to be belligerent here, but until you look it up, how do you know it's a cultural signifier? People have all sorts of stupid bumper stickers on their cars or logos as their facebook pictures. I don't know what half of the acronyms mean that I see in black font in ovals on the backs of minivans - I…

It was one of the things that my future wife liked about me when we started dating!

That was it! So…I have my answer! kthxbai

Does Aquaman have gills, though? Counter - Kevin Costner from "Waterworld" did have gills, and…what was my point?

Good lord. I have done and still continue to do lots of gender nonconforming things in my life (and painting one's nails seems like really small potatoes) and never felt the need to identify as one thing or another because of it. Hell, part of the point was that I wasn't identifying as any one thing because of it. …

"swimming in the Potomac will make you grow gills" - can't tell if good or bad.

Wait, are you talking about "experienced drinker" like, "can down a whole lot of alcohol and still manage to function", or like "has tasted a lot of different kinds of booze and mixed drinks and can tell the good stuff from the bad"? Because the answers to those questions are very different. Because I can't do the…

I'm not familiar with the essay, but I know that his book Danse Macabre features this as a major theme. It's still a very good read, although as it was written in 1980 there's a lot that he didn't have a chance to cover.

Especially 'cause it takes like a week to finish.

Your theory certainly explains why my sexual fantasies (and I may not be the only one) run contrary to some deeply held values of mine. But then, so do lots of other theories, so…

Well, presumably everyone had to ask (or look up) what that equals sign stood for at some point. I did.

Seconded. Depending on where you live, bike riding can also get you places that you were going to anyway, and it's a lot easier for me to exercise when I'm also accomplishing something useful.

I bet the majority of commentators here are at least part dick…