I wish I had $81.

Well, that doesn't sound like a happy ending at all!

"Why, Rhett! How many times have I told you to wash up after the weekly cross burning?"
*rubs Bart's palm*
"See, it's coming off."

Any good porn directors trying to go legit these days?

Just fold it.

I like Astro-Zombies. It has a nice, dreamlike feel to it. Except the parts with the sirens, which was a bad technical choice. Some kind of loud, hissing buzz would have been better.

How to get your TV show on the air:
1. Know people.
2. There is no 2.

"A bird in the hand is a good reason to carry tissues."
— Anonymous

Well, I'm sure they're all rapists, so I guess the CIA could threaten them with that in some way.

Not right now, though. Wait until she's taller.

It's all cool as long as he has some kind of stubble beard, and always wears a white shirt with the top three buttons undone.

I'm bugged at my old man.

Nobody over the age of 35 allowed.

Beats the hell out of some of those Internet "channels," like Boonder, Fizzletits, or Blumpkin.

Hey, I have some half-assed ideas, too! It would be nice if somebody would just "set me up" with some writers and artists and TV networks to create a show. Real nice.

She's a cookie, all right.

Yes, Alyssa Milano is a genius storyteller and producer.

Dead Red Red Deadption 2: Dead Red Red Ded Dread Red

Thanks.

His only problem will be deciding which $75,000.00 speaking gig to choose at which corporate event.