He has the common touch, and knows what people want to see.

It ain't that hard.

It is dynamite, after all.

Bono 15 years running.

Verbal diarrhea is something of a trademark of my posts. Shit. Poop. Caca Doodie!

Kids today just don't give a shit about Alfred Nobel, so they thought they'd have somebody associated with it that the kids really dig, man.

He might have invented it, but I know who perfected it.

They're called that because you can shoot a shotgun from either the front or back and the blast will go all the way through the house and out the other side. There may be some stray buckshot that nicks a few things in the hallway, but hey, can't make an omelet…

Masturbating Bear should be pretty entertaining at the ceremony.

Sure.

It wouldn't have hurt. But he didn't do that.

Come on. Admit that you had a lot higher expectations for him to do something besides be a mannequin.

As if!

I don't see any women stand-ups making that much!

Lawyer with connections groomed for the White House. Sure. Completely blanded out by the political machine.

Sort of, apparently.

That's approximately $30 million a laugh!

He has less personality than your average Westworld host.

I was there nine years ago. I kept asking people that other than his "blackness," what did he have to offer as a President? Never got a clear answer.

He's already there. Talk show appearances, mostly.