You owe Carlos Santana an apology. Make sure it is genuine and sincere.

Madonna broke our outrage reflex for that kind of stuff years ago.

I just got my first Snorlax Tuesday. It was very exciting.

We're also shitty coats!

I haven't heard the last Beyonce album, but all these articles make it seem like it was the most groundbreaking, mind-blowing thing that ever happened. If it was that good, of course it wouldn't win a Grammy. No truly great album ever does, that I can remember (just looked it up - Outkast - Speakerboxx (holy shit I…

They probably took his bong.

I want wings, and a blender.

Cyborgs are part human.

He needed to find out about the lust in Jimmy Carter's heart.

There will still be plenty of racy kinetoscopes.

Yes, it does. Please post your address so we can mail you the prize. It's a lifetime supply of Wonka bars.

Please put a weapon in there.

The Fornication Proclamation P.O. Box 778 Stone Mountain Park, GA 30086

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the daughters of former slave owners will be able to masturbate together at the swingers club of brotherhood

I have a dream that one day my children will be masturbated to based on the sexiness of their bodies and not the color of their skin.

Lego Batman is fun. It definitely riffs on the previous movie's "kid playing with legos" dynamic and ups the ante. It is also almost too much constant stimulation. The jokes were funny. The voice actors were good. It was a good Batman parody with a pretty rote family lesson tacked on.

I'm glad that the turmoil and division of the last election has at least helped us understand that we should shut everyone down for voicing their opinion. I can't wait until we have all been declared unqualified to discuss politics. Then, the politicians can do whatever they want without all this distraction.

As if anyone needed another reason to hate Arsenal.

Must Love John Wick.

You probably should watch the Lego Batman Movie (at least the first three minutes).