Have the Rolling Stones killed.

Please never forget the stabbing with knives. The Raid taught me that I love movies with lots of stabbing.

Benghazi!

Tell them to bury you next to their hamster.

You'd be amazed at how much easier it is to be a parent if your kids don't know how to tell time.

So, it's bad to lie to your kids that the countdown is happening earlier, but still ok to lie to them about Santa Claus, and an all-powerful God?

"slither around"

Congratulations for being more annoying than the movie Frozen.

It may be time to take a break from reading stuff on the internet.

So the department can get civil rights lawsuits dismissed once they show they do not have a pattern or practice of abuse.

These kids and the hd digital video games. We used to have trouble focusing on the tv and we treasured every minute.

People get trampled shopping at Amazon? Black Friday has really gotten out of control.

The Yondu one made me laugh.

West Side Story is a lot like Hamlet, I think.

It's the Madonna principle.

Also, while he is a socialist, the scoiety he lives in, arguably, is not. He would starve to death waiting for them to compensate him in a non-capitalist way.

He's talking to the taxman about…

or that they realize that most of the stuff people discuss or argue about is completely meaningless.

To whom do I donate to not hear more stories?

In their defense, if a dog is ugly as a puppy, it's going to be an abomination by the time it gets older.