Watch it while masturbating and it's fucking hilarious.

If this book gives teens the power to kill themselves, I'm all for it.

WNBA quarters are shorter for the same reason WTA matches are 3 sets instead of 5, and softball pitchers stand closer to home plate than baseball pitchers. It's because women are weak compared to men and NOBODY CARES ABOUT WOMEN'S SPORTS. Just show me sweaty, fit women in pony tails and I'm good.

Even scarier: all those bad drivers from NY, NJ and Pennsyltucky move to Wilmington NC eventually and I have to share our narrow-ass roads with 'em.

Dude, EVERYTHING needs a David Caruso. It's like bacon in that it makes everything better.

I'm thuper therial.

Damn! And I thought to myself "That degree is finally worth something!"

Aren't you supposed to take your sunglasses off and play The Who when you post that?

Two months without cigarettes have honed my anger to a fine edge. If this is an Angry Tournament, I will offended by anything less than a #4 seed. Fuck you guys.

Confirmation on the Wendy's chili. The meat wasn't garbage by any means, but when you had to get that metal pot of congealed burgerFAIL from the cooler, you swear off the finished product. God bless them for the Baconator though.

Bender: In-n-Out double cheeseburger, hand cut fries and chocolate shake is actually the fast food holy trinity.

Hey Burl! You should probably research shit like that before you write it! Ha ha, I bet your face is red now! Ha ha.

I cAn HAZ ALLS-HIMURZ?

Do not click on that link before eating.

Calling Hannity a "young George Clooney" is taking it too far Windowsmasher. It indicates that you are gay for Hannity. Or that I am gay for George Clooney….

The Hall of Fame Cowboys receiver Michael "the Playmaker" is likewise desIRVIN of your cocaine-related snark.

I missed something GH. Is this a new schtick, or are you now a flame war burn victim? I'll have to see it a few more times to see if I like it.

Not to make anybody flashback to 1992 again, but Phish AND the Dead both toured this year. I think people believe that a broken up band sells more tickets than a band on haitus, when they come back. And they ALL come back.

Fastbreak is OK, but it's certainly no Reese's Crispy Crunchy.

Please be careful about doling out the RIPs, AVClub. If you post two more this week, Sean will once again be too sad to put up the Friday Buzzkills.