As a mostly straight man I would like to assure you that no man you are trying to attract is going to notice your shoes anyway so don't worry.

I like Mike's Hard Lemonade, but then I like anything lemonade for the most part.

Aren't Breaking Bad and Mad Men ending? Losing all of its alliterative flagships  can't be good for the network's fortunes.

I thought she already was in one of those? Granted, I've never actually watched one, but I was sure she was in something Movie.

The weird thing is I think Tara Reid probably could do even worse.

I'll go with laziest. Most of his stuff is heavy on the repetition, usually of simple phrases.

Now I'm wondering if you could train the rats, and ride around Manhattan on a rat-pulled chariot like a god.

I miss album art.

You're more a bad knockoff of Lobsters, really.

Isn't Man of Steel also generally reviled? I've seen a ton of bad press for it, and it had a massive drop off between the first and second weeks.

Ciara often has some things that are pretty fantastic surrounded by things that aren't very fantastic at all.

Once, a friend of mine was working in a 24 hour gas station in the middle of nowhere. He was bored, so I went to visit him at a little before midnight. We were hanging out, and suddenly several cop cars swarmed the building, and I was thinking "WTF is going on guy? Why are there so many cops?" Turns out they all just…

I'd like to think that the beard is a musical instrument of its own.

Maybe they were saving it for this week, where apparently jack shit is coming out? Maybe they're not? Maybe it's Maybelline?

YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!

Damn that Jesus looks douchey.

Interestingly, Swept Away is an integral part of the torture of dissidents, and has been banned by the Geneva Convention.

I wouldn't mind having a napping Rick Rubin on my couch. It brings a certain ambiance into the home.

Well I don't know how we expected Jlo to google Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov. I mean, how was she going to remember all those letters?

I also have a permanent scar from a toilet, when a tank broke as I was hauling an old toilet out of my parents' house.