midnight tokers?

And he such a douche I'm surprised the vinegar didn't cause a volcanic eruption.

It's ok, he's been working pretty hard with his swagger coach. He's a trained professional.

I will only enjoy this if he gets pepper-sprayed and beaten by the police.

If you want some of the best tea you can buy, get Oriental Beauty. You can get it from any decent tea seller. Stay the fuck away from TeaVanna.

Return of the Hamlet: with ewoks!

Coriolanus is pretty great and not just because 'anus' is in the title.

Yeah, but I do love the fact that drinking during a performance is not only tolerated, but considered sophisticated.

We'll give 'em so much it'll barium.

Breasticles is also acceptable

You're fired! ®

I'll have to McConaughtre this.

"No"?

Invite it to prom?

Isn't a Pymms cup served in some sort of chalice?

Outback is Australian for 'shitty'

Hold the mallard, it's too….ducky.

I always take my Sterno in a martini glass

That's why it's illegal to raise all the bridges going over the canal at once.

no.stop.don't.