What do you expect? They're evil.

Could be worse. You could have priapism along with that.

Ever had blood sausage? The secret ingredient is…BLOOD!

"Pure, unadulterated GENIUS!" -Wile E. Coyote

A matrix is just a pattern of connected boxes, each containing a number. Kind of a letdown-they used to be called "magic squares," but "matrix" sounds way cooler.

I always found "Davey andGoliath" to be a little creepy.

" …but thankfully when I woke up my VHS copy of Idle Hands still had boobies in it…"
The devil finds work for idle hands. (You should thank him for the suggestion."

No Kanye West at the Grammys? I guess I'll just go in the bathroom and hang myself now.

"Bitch-you don't have a future." - Uma Thurman

Is she related to Ben Stein?

I'm going with whatever insurance company Flo is working for.
I <3 insurance!

Okay…it's a butterfly.

What a shocker.

How about traveling back in time and making sure he gets accepted to art school?

"But it's OK, because it doesn't hurt when you're hit by someone who loves you!"

"I just hope they don't land on that horrible planet of the apes…"

So, you could say his mother sits around the planet.

It takes a big man to make a half hearted, insincere apology.

"Just let the blade do the work."

Oh. THOSE knives.