Too low! Lower. . .

And the special guest will be killed in their introduction.

And that's from a movie about vampires that don't drink blood and can be out during the day.

At first, I read that as the director of After Earth. Is that how M. Night is promoting himself now?

Not if you're one of the tubby fuggos that read Cosmo.

I agree, it is high time for a good Hilary Swank vehicle.

I'm guess that would make it a glazed donut.

Nothing is impossible, except for dinosaurs!

As opposed to non-homophobic assholes?

Ice Cube was in an accident? Is he OK?

Were you trying to get a senior discount?

You know that John Walsh doesn't actually hunt people on The Hunt. They just tell the story of a crime, show the guy's picture, and then hope that people will call in. Now if CNN wanted to produce a show where criminals were released on a private island and John Walsh tracks them with a rifle and a bunch of dogs,…

thatthatthatthatthat

(in unison) Free us from thought and responsibility

I'm mainly surprised that the Navy has such a lax dress code.

I don't think that's the Arby's logo.

I'm not totally up on my Hollywood jargon, but "scheduling conflict" means cocaine overdose and rehab, right?

Yo mama?

Please, as if God could somehow see through your roof.

Negga? Please.