Buzz fucking Bissinger is a motherfucking damn good writer and Buzz fucking Bizzinger is fucking important for me in the motherfucking playoffs. I know he's made some motherfucking cocksucking mistakes, but he's not a fucking pervert, he's a motherfucking friend.

I'm a motherfucking high school football coach, and I don't fucking think there's a better fucking job to judge the fucking content of a motherfucking young man. Taylor Kitsch has committed some fucking crimes against cinema, but he has served his time for those fucking crimes, and I think it's goddamn fucking time we…

I'm a motherfucking high school football coach, and I don't fucking think there's a better fucking job to judge the fucking content of a motherfucking young man. Taylor Kitsch has committed some fucking crimes against cinema, but he has served his time for those fucking crimes, and I think it's goddamn fucking time we…

Adam Sandler gimmick worked fucking hard, and I know this time last year a lot of motherfuckers wrote him off, but now he's fucking back, his cocksucking injury problems are over, and I feel fucking confident he can take us all the fuck the way to state.

Son, if you're gonna talk about my motherfucking family that way you'd better get out of my cocksucking house. I am motherfucking serious son, you better leave right the fuck now.
(Waves handlebars to toddler's bike threateningly)

It's that motherfucking Lance kid. He's a good fucking kid, gets a little fucking murdery at times, but he's got a good fucking heart.

You get no free passes in fucking football son, you have to earn every cocksucking one of them. I didn't like that fucking son of a bitch when he was talking to my fucking wife and I sure as fuck shit don't like him now. He's a motherfucker of poor fucking character, that's what he is.

Son I don't think I need to fucking tell you the kind of shit that happens when you kill a fucking stranger in Dillon motherfucking Texas. We been through this shit in season fucking two and it damn near ruined the fucking show so I want you to think long and cocksucking hard about whether you wanna go back down that…

You think you're fucking champions because you wear a 2,000 dollar fucking suit, you're fucking wrong! You think you're champions cause the bouncers let you do blow in the bathroom of a fancy motherfucking club, you're fucking wrong! You are not motherfucking champions untill you've fucking earned it!

Son, you need to pick a motherfucking joke and commit 110 fucking percent to that fucking joke. If you wanna make it as a motherfucking late night host I'm gonna need you to work a little fucking harder.

Tim Riggins is a good fucking kid with a good fucking heart. Every motherfucker will at some fucking point in his fucking life lose a box office battle, but what makes him a fucking man is that in the cocksucking midst of that battle he does not lose himself.

You know I'm with my cock-sucking wife and 15 fucking year old daughter, so I'm just gonna walk the fuck away, but that's real fucking nice of you, that's a real motherfucking nice thing to say.

Yeah Bin Laden, I've made fucking mistakes. Sometimes I forget to pick up the fucking groceries for my fucking wife. I've made mistakes on the motherfucking field that I've come to fucking regret. You do a motherfucking 9/11 I don't call that mistake, that's a selfish stupid cocksucking action, that's what you call…

I think sometimes that for anyone to do my fucking job, it is motherfucking near impossible not to sell your cocksucking soul just a little fucking bit down the motherfucking river.

You don't call the fucking plays here, Angry Black Man, I call the fucking plays. You are done, motherfucker, you are done. Saracen! Get fucking warmed up.

When you're out there on that fucking field, your mind is on the motherfucking game. Receiver's thinking about the cocksucking goal line and all the motherfucking people who haven't given up on him. He's got no fucking room to think about explosions.

See these motherfuckers Smash. They're Third Eye Blind. 14 years ago they made number fucking one on the top list of motherfucking recruitment prospects in the fucking country. Now they're working in a fucking diner and spray painted on a fucking rock. Fucking list aint everything Smash, just play your fucking best on…

Lord, give all us motherfuckers gathered here tonight the strength to remember that our tv shows are so very fucking fragile. Our shows will all, at some fucking point in their fucking lives, fall. And when that happens we will be fucking tested, tested like a bitch.

Ghost, I need you to work a little fucking harder, okay? You need to learn this fucking offense son. I need you to learn this motherfucking offense so well that your motherfucking cocksucking children are gonna have this fucking offense written in their fucking DNA.

Give all of us motherfuckers gathered here tonight the strength to realise that what we have is so fucking fragile. We are all fucking vunerable, and we will all fucking fall. We must carry this shit in our hearts.