I miss CHORD OVERSTREET's abs… Oh, wait, there they are. Thanks, internet!

All My Children used the "friend of Ellen" joke like ten years ago. Seriously, All My Children.

Ha! So conflicted. I want to say there's no such thing as a convenient homophone. But I also wish I could register with that name.

I believe it was Dorothy Parker who said "Heterosexuality isn't normal, it's just common."