Wait, WHAT?

Wait, that isn't the good stuff?

The twist: they're Democratic polls.

"We are sad to report the untimely death of roller derby star Madam Panhandler…"

How many Hitlers you see running around, huh? Who do you think took care of them all?

You were waiting for a death?

Let's just say the premise moved him…. TO A BIGGER PALATIAL MANSION!

Wotta resume builder!

Wait, if these boners aren't the work of the Joker…. who's the new boner king???

Is it 90s week again?

If it's a legitimate pre-order, the OS has a way of shutting that down.

Oh boy, Killer Moth!

Exactly. They tout release dates well in advance when there's no way to ensure that the game will be ready by then. When that deadline rolls around, well, that bundle is going out regardless of stability.

Maybe it'd help if they changed the name of the service to Vichy.

Bond villains are usually smarter, or at least more charismatic, than Trump.

Roger Moore would've broken off a piece of that.

Finally, a pop-culture-reference-based platform I can get behind!

You have a great username for this.

Does he at least use Astrolabe?

The minigame is terrible. You literally have one mission to master piloting this completely awkward, ungainly device, so you end up having to play it dozens of times over and over.