Noah is before Abraham, so there was no dick cutting yet!

Blubblubblub Noah! Save us!

Ces? True.

BC may be the only case of a Zombie strip getting better after its creator's death.

Henderson Valley Milk, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE OUR MILK!!

Jay-Z's "Autobiograpy of a Dairy Beverage" loses at the Grammys, leading to angry tweets all around

Well, it's not so much the EPA as it is one particular, dickless EPA agent…

If the advertising segment was made today, Springfield would be under attack by a giant Local housewife who discovered 1 weird trick that doctors hate.

Leonard Pierce actually started writing for The Dissolve before the web site began.

There was a gas leak, if I recall

Right, that was the only one I could think of, too…

Spoiler: Mt Vesuvius was really Mt Etna all along

Can you think of any Old Skool disaster movies where NO ONE survived, though?

Yes and no. The Navy told Ballard "we'll fund you if you look for some lost submarines and a-bombs, and we can use your Titanic expedition as a cover". Ballard's main goal was always Titanic, but he also was more than happy to take the Navy's money and tech, so he played along.

Better to sleep there than the Fantastiks Theme room. Bare stage my ass!

"Pret-ty lame, Milhouse"

Always got to be someone with their "facts" and "realistic understanding of how things work" to spoil a good time…

The AV Club
No one got laid at prom

At the end, he commits suicide via taking a bath with his pet jellyfish.

Clearly, they aren't doing their tech rundowns correctly.