Are you in Chicago? For some reason I always think you are in either Indiana or Chicago but can never remember which.

Ah, easier for her to rip off your shirt without strangling you on your bowtie.

My brother and sister are both doing that race as well and I texted my brother and said "I just want to make sure you know it's 4 miles, not a 5k so you don't think you're done and have an extra mile"

Good luck on the date! What are you going to wear?

I just started laughing really hard thinking of you as Sluggo in combination with Alien Jesus's comment about "if she replies to your postings, consider it warm moist breath into your ear with just a flick of tongue."

I very rarely call people by their names in normal situations anyway, so it just seems really awkward to me.

Maybe I'll try to switch it up and say "Yahweh" instead.

LITTLE EMMA ADDERALL IS SLUGGO

Probably because of the bathtubs.

Don't throw up on yourself like Spice Weasel did that one time.

Go take a viagra, all the blood will leave your brain and it won't hurt anymore.

"I am your father!"

a black president

pee-riod

I accidentally didn't feed my cats for three days because I didn't reset the clock on the automatic feeder when I changed the batteries. They're still alive.

I just want you to know, good luck, we're all counting on you.

I'm carrying around an extra seven pounds of water weight but In better news, I ran 5k TWICE since last Wednesday! It felt awesome and I am 65% sure I'll be able to do a 4-mile race on Thanksgiving! (I'm not sure how hilly it will be but I'm going to work on that by doing lots of hills in the meantime.)

CONGRATULATIONS! I'm glad you had such a good time! We all chipped in and got you NuDisqus as a wedding gift. Sorry.

There are so many "new comments above/below" that I'm totally overwhelmed AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The joke's on God, I already sold my soul to Ned Flanders for a donut!