and nothing else

My parents live in a city but have a couple of deer that live in their backyard.  They come in the back gate and stare impudently at my dad until he brings them corn, and then they happily chow down.

One time when I was in college I was walking down the street and looked across the street and there was Greg Oden walking the same way as me.

CAT EYES

Oooh, that sounds really good.  Did you just cut 'em up and stick 'em in the oven?

He was definitely a Kevin James fireman.

That's so frustrating when people do that!  Jerks.

I know!  But she's so awkward she can't even do that!  I'm blaming it on the fact that she's been with her husband since they were 18 so she has no idea how people find out dating-related information about each other.

He had other pictures…it was him.

You could step it up a notch and actually fart instead of using the whoopie cushion, but that is still a delightful and hilarious story.

Good luck!  I have a Skype interview tomorrow…I'm getting a wee bit nervous.

Ooh, I like the color.  I also like that brand because it's cheap and usually looks good for several days, barring horrible pen accidents.  I hope your knee feels better soon!

I THINK I AM YOUR WHITE ALTER EGO

I got this AMAZING shirt and plan on wearing it during my very first race on Thanksgiving Day!  I will need to wear a shirt under it to not freeze to death.  http://i.imgur.com/VKeWllw.jpg

I don't generally bruise, but I have a bruise on my arm and I have NO IDEA where it came from and it's been there for a week and I'm so annoyed by it!

Hey, I just wanted to let you know, good luck, my wife is from Germany.

T-rex forearms, aka @JudgeReinhold:disqus forearms.

SO GOOD.  I want to put whipped cream on top of it.  It's really glorious.

That sounds incredible.  And yes, my mouth is also watering now.

Online Dating Thread!