Let's be honest, first it's D&D, then AD&D, then one of those MMORPG things, then, surprise, surprise, you're sucking off some dude who looks like Patton Oswalt's ax-wielding dugeonmaster from Reno 911 and tickling his dice. . .it never ends well. . . .

Hmm, let's through in some CGI effects of Smurfs that only Monica sees and hears and that tell her to do creepy sexual stuff. I'm in then, I'll get my buddy the producer on the phone and we'll greenlight that shit faster than Jay Baruchel doesn't go through puberty!

Dude, why has no one mentioned Troll with Julia Louis-Dreyfus? Best. Troll. Movie. Ever. Should be remade in 3D animation with the little plasticky fuckers with crazy hair and huge junk as the bad trolls and more nude scenes with Elaine . . . .

This made my day, my existence was brightened by the recollection of me and my friends, back in the 1990s, rolling around with forties, shorties and blunts, driving bmw's through our affluent white neighborhood with NWA/Eazy-E/Ice Cube albums blaring. Ah teenage contradictions In fact, in 1989 I met Cube in person at…

My man Jerome sells the best pop rocks ever over on West North ave., one rock and you be poppin' all damn day. . .

I wouldn't vajazzle him for all the candy corns in Iowa. I would kick him in the corn cob for free tho. . .

Indeed, I think as a token of appreciation for all the hate, I will offer to you, this one time only, chance of a lifetime!