I have a Brazilian friend who has a hard time differentiating "beach" and "bitch." It's really quite endearing.

The porno industry has no problem with it.

It's not a vagina word either.

My wife worked at a small town newspaper for awhile and the police officer in charge of speaking with the media was named Captain Boner. That was his honest-to-god name. Captain Gene Boner.

A friend of mine in college hated the word panties. So of course, this being the days before everyone had called ID, me and another friend would call her up and just say "panties" in a variety of voices and accents, sometimes whispering creepily, other times yelling. She had a remarkably good sense of humor about the…

Is that right?

*Standing ovation for this entire thread*

You got it all wrong. They're trying to save their houses, not the community center.

The two people who died looking for it were not TOP MEN.

But what if I say I need comely virgins to satiate myself ?

Mmmhmm. Really, you don't say?

That's just fine, thanks to my diet rich in ribo-FLAAAIIVENN!

If it is, I'm following that shit like an obsessive compulsive dead head. Ham is good in general, but Cure 81 is worth murdering entire families for.

I busted my Haimmen when I was 15.

People are giving you shit for putting ketchup on fish sticks, and not for the fact that you're eating fish sticks as an adult? For Christ's sake, are you still five?

I don't see why it's a problem on hot dogs. But if you put it on a good piece of meat like a quality brat, that's just crazy.

Maybe I just have an unsophisticated pallet, but I've never been able to tell the difference between ketchup brands. It's all the same to me whether it's Hunt's, Heinz or some generic store brand. I suspect most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference in a blind taste test either.

Mayo is great on fries. But I also love mustard on fries. Especially brown or stone ground mustards, but even regular old yellow mustard works. People often look at me funny when they see me eating fries with mustard. Do you think that means they want to fight?

Have you ever tried boning immediately after a big meal? It kind of weighs on your mind when you're thrusting away.

I just wish we saw more loudeners on TV guns.