Sex Cauldron?!?!?! I thought they closed that place down!

Watching Bartolo Colon "run" the bases after hitting that home run was hilarious. I didn't know if his fat ass was going to make it.

I work with a very liberal guy who reads Drudge every single day. I don't know if it's a "keep your enemies closer" thing or just because he's a masochist or what.

I'm gonna start asking that of everyone I see with a cross tattoo. Whether it's on their face or not.

Based on your intro there is no way in hell I'm clicking on that link.

Good, then you won't be taking my ticket!

Oh I remember that well, believe me. That's what I was basing this whole comment on.

I never apologize for anything. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am.

Seriously, are there no editors any more? It's not acceptable to cite Wikipedia in high school term papers, but it's OK to cite them as fact in media?

Every time I see him I'm reminded that he looks a lot like me (at least in my opinion). So I'm sure he'll be cast in the movie about me that's coming any day now.

Jesus Christ, that's depressing. I seriously hope he's not working in media any more. I've had reporters pull some shady shit too, but never anything quite like that.

When in doubt just spite everybody.

*Attempts to replicate hyperbolic paranoid's study about lacking upvotes, fails spectacularly at gaining upvotes*

"If we teach them kids critical thinking they'll think they're better than us"

This is a perfect reminder of one my all-time favorite Onion articles: Study Finds Getting Smacked Right in the Mouth with a Goddamn Tree Branch Really Sucks

This one hits close to home as I write about science and research for a living. Getting the media to pay attention is really hard for a lot of reasons. But it's largely due to the fact that media companies have been downsizing for a long time now, and there are fewer and fewer reporters all the time, especially…

Are you saying you don't need us Dewey?

*Johnny Depp hears something about coating everyone in makeup and immediately calls his agent demanding a part*

We had a video rental store in my home town that had a small porno section. Once, one of the high school kids I knew was working and wouldn't let us go back to the porno section because someone might see, but he did just grab one of the porno tapes at random from behind the desk and handed it to us, telling us to get…

That makes some sort of disgusting sense, I guess. I was wondering why people would jack off on the actual DVD. I mean, you can't see the fucking if you can see the disc…