I'm still grieving over the failure of the "Please Don't Cancel UCB" petition.

Yeah, trying to imagine the AV Club writing about a hypothetical similar revelation about, say, Clint Eastwood. Not seeing words like "complicated" and "in the past" in that writeup.

I fucking hate baseball (three-hour statistics recitation, anyone?), but this was actually a fun read. Great job, AV Club.

Many people are defaulting on these loans, which is an exciting development for those in the debt-buying business, of course, but it does raise the specter of the subprime mortgage crisis that led to billion-dollar bank bailouts

Yeah, I don't quite buy the AV Club's legal conclusion that "spoilers … could be considered [copyright-protected] derivative works."

So?

Gah! I've been snookered by another stealth Cameron Esposito promotion! (Shakes fist) You win again, AV Club!

The Melvins' Stag. From start to finish, the perfect confluence of heavy, catchy, weird, spooky and silly that they've made into their wheelhouse over the 30-odd years they've been around. I always recommend it as the entry point for the uninitiated.

It's the knife that saved America!!!

Awesome flick. I still can't tell whether that speech at the end is incredibly moving or incredibly hilarious.

Stone Pimple Toilets.

CELEBRITIES TALK TO EACH OTHER ON TWITTER

But the film got a solid "B" from the same AV Club reviewer who reminded us how great the Star Wars prequels were. There's no way it couldn't have done well.

Ha, you're a lonely weirdo!

I've-a-bon-er.

How about … a nice … greeeazzy … pork sandwich?

Good; I hate math.

Steeeeeve Perry. Steeeeeve Perry.

One day, my credit card statement will have something to say about this.

It should have been run up the chain at least to the archvicar level!