Why, yes, it is Bono Day. Mark your calendar next time!

'Cause KR is sleeping on piles of stone-cold cash from the sweet, sweet conscription of naive young meatsacks into the US Armed Forces, Son!

Now apologize for Use Your Illusion II!

Like in his chopping down of the cherry tree, I would blame this movie on Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

Take out the question part of that quotation, and you're batting 100%.

The Perfect Nerd will be able to simultaneously cultishly worship and reject pop culture ephemera at twice the speed of the typical AV Club commenter.

My fiancee actually plays Fantasy Congress.

BECAUSE I'M KEEPIN' MAH GUN AND THAT ABORTION WAS A ONE-TIME THANG!

The only thing worse are the years in between where we all regret our votes we know, deep down, never mattered, because we're too lazy to do anything about abolishing gerrymandering.

Outright dementia and the resulting verbal diarrhea is Cat Scratch Fever in its final stages. RIP, Nuge.

And that is why YOU ALWAYS LEAVE A NOTE.

But Penthouse Letters at least approved Laura's Bush's Wild Ride.

THE GREATER GOOD.

Or the Maccadogs that when they bark they shoot Maccabees from their mouths?!

Somebody needed to tell the story of The War on Christmas from the other side. Why not a hate-filled monster?

Honestly, it's not my particular thing. On the AV Club celeb fappability-axis, I'm more a Christina Hendricks guy.

But just think of what Gibson could do with Springtime for Hitler!

You mean his dad?

I suggest a lengthy, inefficient search. At the taxpayers' expense, of course.

Oh, no! I've killed Wilson! Looks like it's back to jail for me.