I often wish there was a war movie where the main character was gay, but not really a gay war movie.

Yeah, they're all dumb. Every single one of them. Stupid. Uninformed. Spoiled. Rich. They also all need a job. Blogging on iPads. They literally ALL have iPads. Protest has obviously failed. Because capitalism hasn't collapsed after one month. Which, by the way, is what every, single, one, of, them, wants. There is…

I'm here from Occupy Richmond, VA and we really really could use a hot-tub to bake noodles in.

Human Centipede is a clever allegory for the process of filming Human Centipede. 

Entertainments that teach children about genocide.

The script for Dr. Strangelove was ripped off of a script I wrote about a whacky weekend I spent in Pheonix AZ.

Dexter? Really?

It's supposed to be The Walking Dead not The Whining Living

I'D DAMAGE MY SPLEEN FOR YA
DISPARAGE THE QUEEN FOR YA
SMASH A FAMOUS GREEK FRIEZE FOR YA

The film should be Jesse and Walt…in the FUTURE

The best song of the last fifteen years was the one I wrote about my cat four days ago for his birthday. 

That leaves you with herpes and guilt.

WELLFARE DRAGQUEENS. WE MUST END THE PRACTICE OF MEN/WOMEN USING GOVERNMENT MONEY TO BUY THIGH HIGH VINYL RED BOOTS AND IMPORTED FEATHER HEADDRESSES!

Key word, "maybe." Sex offender is an incredibly expansive definition.

Wait, you think that if the guitarist kills the singer and then gets life in prison for it NOBODY wins?