Surely I wasn't the only one disappointed that it wasn't a limp cover of the ZZ Top song? I mean, it wouldn't've been actually good, but at least it would've been based on a real, people-actually-like-this song.

Once the pommel horse shows up in the village of the crazies, you feel like you finally got what you paid to see. Which, hopefully, wasn't very much. Well, that and Richard Norton's incredible fur-vest - that was really something.

Well, at least I'm not sweating any more. Wait. Damn!

So is this WB playing it safe and being a good little boy and keeping the "fucks" to a minimum, or the MPAA knowing that this is a big one and they can't play their bullshit games when the dollars get real (i.e., and indie doing the same stuff would be praying not to get an NC-17, much less the slam-dunk R).I hope…

You should never want a show to be better than it does - that just makes you a sucker.

I would!

Not having kids, it's still comforting to know that one "fuck" is totally safe for him, just so long as he doesn't hear, say, five "fucks" in a two-hour period, because that'd just fuck his shit up, maybe forever. Who knew kids were this easy to turn into useful adults? No more condoms for me!

Bah. Old men worried about teenagers on their lawn protest changes in uniforms, but the 20-year-olds who play it… prepare to be shocked… like high-tech, freaky, futuristic stuff. It's almost like they're young men! But when you hear people talk as if every team should have "classic" uniforms like Cleveland, yeah,…

Easter is the "eh, it would be nice to have a holiday around this time of year, and I'm sure the pagans have one already, so we'd better grab it before they manage to sneak it through under the guise of pseudo-secularism, like Halloween - seriously, Halloween? - so yeah, but don't put too much effort into it" holiday.…

Hey man, it hasn't rained here since yesterday. It's happy time 24/7 (well, maybe if it warmed up a bit, damned Smarch weather…). Watching what media types think your local area is like is exciting for about 5 minutes, absurd about 5 more, and after that it's just like "just set it in New York or LA or Miami like you…

Superman Returns was terrible. The tone was all over the place, from solemn Super-Jesus sulking, Spacey's sleazy, disturbing viciousness, Posey's hysterical attempts at something, the constant abuse that 90# Boswell somehow survives, and the weird not-real newspaper world we're supposed to accept. The ending was…

I can't be the only one who thought that that story made the "growing up without Dickens" joke just way too obvious? It was a joke, right - how could it not be?

The spice must flow!

Yeah, same. 
Second choice would be a butt-shaped tattoo with a butt on it on my butt.

The underwater scene feels like a shot-by-shot ripoff of the American Godzilla of all things, which is both confusing and just kind of amazing. It was basically a really cheap Corman movie that would have gone straight to video except for the name cast and slightly better-than-expected visuals. But in its heart it…

I'd like to think the bear detonated prematurely. But it's probably something like the tree fell the wrong way and landed on him instead of the iPod factory.

I'd really like to hope that one of the primary takeaways from that movie is "don't do this". 

I hope it's a time when chicks didn't wear bangs like that. No forehead makes people look like cavemen.

I'm not so sure that it's a question of intent, but just talent. A good director can take something he or she has minimal or no respect for (like The Shining, American Psycho or Starship Troopers) and make a good, different movie out it, while a bad director will try the same and get crap. In the same way, a good…

Having a sentence that contains both "Liberace" and "money shot" amuses me way more than it should.