This sounds like a deadpan satire of art movies - misery for misery's sake. Still, it does sound unlike most film fare - does it get an A for being unique compared to the usual multiplex fare, or is it kind of graded on a curve and really the top tier of THIS IS ART DAMN IT movies? While I certainly appreciate the…

He's going to be an A-list star, damn it! We have the technology! We have the focus groups! We have the market segmentation! We… ah, fuck it - maybe we can still salvage Lana Del Ray.

He's great. He's that guy who you think is just flipping you some shit, but suddenly you realize than he's actually idiotic enough to be serious, and holy shit, is he going to kick my ass? He projects that "I know there are boundaries to acceptable behavior, but I don't truly understand and/or agree with them, and if…

I guess when you come back from college and realize everything is pointless, ridiculous and phony (yet oddly no one seems impressed by your profound revelations), people have learned how to react so a few years later you're in a suit waiting for your interview, right back in the rat race. Yet for soldiers, who seem to…

Bad cop is bad. But so both his ex-wives live together and together raise combined kids? Somehow I'd expect that to be a lot less sexy than it could be. Plus, probably a lot less Catholic guild and Keitel-penis than the other movie I'm thinking about.

People always complain about the length of the show - get rid of the damned shorts! They have no real connection to the rest of the show, the audience cares nothing about them, and they're just pointless, insulting bloat. You can have a separate ceremony for the awards like the technical ones get. No one cares, and…

The scene where Brandi and the cop are shown boning in the car bothered me - why would she have her bra still on? It just felt like "actress has a career and is cool to be in this movie, but she's not ready to actually sell out for the character, and it sadly shows" feel. Actresses that don't want top get naked don't…

You know when you're done with a post and you read it and you think "wow, really have no idea where I'm going with this one, but fuck it, I hate when I don't post and I come back and my old wall of text is still there ready to go so I'm hitting the button and probably lowering the sum total of dialog value on Earth…

I wonder how often horse in real racing have to be put down, though? If it's as common as I suspect, it seems a little weird to get too upset over a fictional representation being true to life. I know that even in hunting movies and stuff they fake it, but really - it's not like the horses know they're on camera. So…

I think that would require a degree of self-awareness whose existence would have made her story up to now impossible. Still, if she followed Woody Harrelson's lead and did an "ask me anything" chat (and actually tried to answer), my opinion of her would go up about a million points.

I remember Ebert slamming DPS for shoehorning in the "traitor" character just so the neanderthals in the audience could have their satisfactory violence at the end, and he was right. Watching it, that element felt so obviously-manipulative that while the strings were showing all the way through, it was like they…

Wow - 77K units for THE NEXT BIG THING seems awfully paltry. I know the good old days of sales by the dumptruck are gone, but sheesh. Post-ironic purchases by anti-anti-art hipsters could move 77K units. I get that "people still buy music" is sarcastic, but this just seems sad.

Bah - why do I even vote? Half my choices wound up #2 - or FIRST LOSER. I feel like a Democrat in the 80s.

It's hard. I mean, in real life, your expectations are lower, but also, very few real life girls have professionals spending hours on their makeup every day, and when that makeup is there to cover stuff up, natural light can be a bitch.

Well, when they're doing it in a place where it's forbidden, and they kill people, uh, yeah. They should be locked up.

The modern paradigm of "push records to sell the tour, then profit" seems to demand that above all else, the more touring, the more successful the act. To have an act that is choosing not to tour our of fear of hurting record sales is pretty awesome. I mean, we all sort of assumed autotune would make this an…

With some hardcore tanning and a whole lotta lipstick, she could be MIA! Well, not really, but it's not like this current incarnation is going anywhere, so they might as well swing for the bleachers with 3.0.

I look at that pic, and I'm thinking  "At what point does lipstick go from attention-gathering accent to 'clown'?" I'm not sure that whoever does the makeup for this show knows.

The band's name is still beyond terrible.

Yeah, I remember in Lost, I couldn't get over how perfect Michelle Rodriguez's teeth were. She was stuck on that island for, what, 48 days, and while her skin was a little dusty, she retained her flawless, shining Hollywood-white teeth. It yanked me out of the scene every time.