I assume you're saving your one allowed A+ for an upcoming 2 Broke Girls that's much less terrible than usual?

I like to make myself feel big and important by talking about how I don't watch network TV, yet stuff like this makes my hipster-fueled elitism actually seem reasonable. It takes a year to get the FCC to act, then a year to implement people just no longer screaming at you. Uh, OK.

Huh. Maybe it's me, but the people I saw it with laughed three times and went back to their lives, and I have never, ever heard someone in real life talk wistfully or romantically about the good old days watching Three Amigos. It's just so tastefully broad, like an especially well-made movie from one of those networks…

Aqua teen Hunger Force Colon Movie For Theaters? There's the bookend stuff where they call the movie audience losers.

These two seem like they'd be fun to make, but as actual movies just, to me, felt slight, lazy and kinda pointless. Like a TV movie really, with some chuckles I guess, but nothing of any consequence, and nothing with any actual bite. Like the multi-camera of movies, inoffensive, breezy and kinda pointless. Maybe if…

Why shouldn't all shows want to be great? Few will succeed, and many will learn to work within their limitations, but the idea that aiming for "eh" and sometimes achieving it is defensible as "mindless background entertainment" bothers me. Light comedy can still be good, whimsy and diversion can be done with style and…

Really? I thought that rhymed with "dude". As in, "Dude, WTF?"

It's time to pay the price!

Wow. Usually there's at least one "Man, I really should've seen that, maybe it'll be on streaming soon?" on these lists, but there's absolutely nothing that appeals to me here. Between ITS-ART-DAMNIT, death-by-twee, cinewanking and wouldn't-therapy-have-been-cheaper, just… ugh. Likely just me, but this is a seriously…

All this time I thought it was the Bacon Theater. Now I'm kinda bummed.

"Celebrated." "Good." While there is overlap, there's also overlap between "twee" and "doesn't angry up the blood". But then maybe this just goes to show how dependent any screenplay is on direction, acting, budget and all that other stuff - a screenplay isn't a book, and while good production can carry a weak…

I always think of that MST3K line from Red Zone Cuba  about Sergeant Justine "I'm George Takei".

Suddenly my dishonorable discharge from the KISS Army doesn't seem so bad. Though this lotion I have to use makes me all itchy.

No, it takes more than just hair on the palms to count as a werewolf. It's a nice try though.

I saw the Swedish movie, and it was amusing how it made all its characters over-the-top cartoons, yet the stark Swedish landscapes gave them a veneer of gravitas and flim-informed seriousness so that as long as kept your brain off, it seemed like actual art. But any examination at all made it seem like sub-Frank…

The cast soundtrack to American Idiot is awesomely terrible - though apparently people actually enjoy it unironically (what is this, 1973?). It's like listening to The Chipmunks (or that Nimoy/Shatner collection I own)  - nothing about it is objectively "good", and yet I keep coming back to it.

Yeah, not sure there's much ugly left to go for these guys. Maybe the guy in glasses, but that's just a guess.

Holidays aren't for TV-watching, their for hanging out with your bitter, alcoholic families, dredging up old disputes from decades ago, applying every passive-aggressive skill you have and vaguely wondering what the rules of justifiable homicide actually are. Surely worth-watching TV has no place during this special,…

I've heard that, but how much of that is just nostalgia-based? The rate of fire for a battleship is kinda low, the operational costs insane, and why wouldn't a large barrage of missiles or aircraft bombs work just as well? It just has that "My mind's made up, now look for reasons why it's somehow correct" induction…

While the shaft length would aid aiming, wouldn't it also cause more drag as it traveled through the… uh… barrel? I mean, where is the muscle action coming (heh) from? For something that happens so often, it suddenly occurs to me how little I know about how it actually works…