Definitive re-telling? You obviously didn't see UK reality show Alive: Back to the Andes, in which "celebrities" no-one's ever heard of "honoured the courage" of the survivors by being filmed chowing down on raw meat halfway up a mountain. This is (unfortunately) real, and I have the TV review to prove it:

So, what *was* the worst thing he did that day?

Are We Not Men?
Devo have mansions? Are they the Hugh Hefners of the post-punk world now?

Does Brolin give good moustache? I just want to know if he continues his winning soup-strainer streak from Planet Terror and No Country For Old Men.

Coen brothers remake
From the Primer entry on the Coen brothers, I found my way to their Wikipedia page, which states that they started making films as kids with a Super-8 camera, using a neighborhood kid, Mark Zimering ("Zeimers"), as the star: