Battleship and Bad Boys 2 are way too fucking long to be good-bad. Bad Boys 2 is 2½ fucking hours, which is unconscionable.

History Trump knows:

Was that his excuse for dodging military service?

"The Panama Canal, also the biggest Canal in the world. Even with the biggest name in the world. Suez Canal? That's like [pauses, counts on fingers] six letters. Americans make the biggest canals, with the biggest names."

Of course he would say that. Sometimes there's nothing more fitting that to just say "What a stupid idiot asshole." He's just such an enormous, deluded piece of shit.

But he's Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces now, so he probably considers himself a Marine. I'd bet any money he is getting a uniform made.

It's spelled "Michelin Man."

We've reached peak nadir.

Or Liz Phair's H.W.C.

Yeah, but this year it's gonna come down to this or Barney's movie.

The AV Club

haha dood, it's 4:20!!

Go fuck yourself, GJI.

A man, no plan, a sentient anal prolapse turned president, Trump

Why use ellipses when you could have a colon?

Jesus fuck, he really said that thing about the canal?

LeBron has a giant tattoo on his back that says CHOSEN 1.

Once I saw these kids playing with squirt guns in on the street and occasionally running on to my lawn. So I pulled out a real gun and shot two of them. I have similarly never felt that level of respect before, which is why I now brandish my gun at youths whenever possible.

I believe "we" talk about pwning n00bs.

Are there any Jareds (or Troys) who aren't twits?