Yeah, really. Sucking her boobs is no punishment, is it? In fact, for most dudes sucking her asshole is still no punishment, either. Or sucking her bone marrow cancer. OK, that might be the demarcation line.

Similar to ET?!! It's a fucking miserably inept, pathologically cynical, criminally shitty impostor. Don't you ever mention those two films in the same breath ever again, ever. Or in the same lifetime. Hmmph.

Yes, that was the joke that I made, the pink acid. You paid attention.

I love where he says that terrorists will never bomb Philly because it's just not worth it. I was working in an office on the 38th floor at the time of the 9/11 attacks and for weeks afterward people were having emotional meltdowns terrified that terrorists might fly a plane into us. I would explain that the targets…

No, actually it sounds like you're the one desperate for attention, hungry for human contact, for even the slimmest indication that you're worthy of love. Keep trying…

I know, right? Any day now h'es gonna swell up a la Barry Bonds.

Three words: Elizabeth Banks Bikini.

He's describing his frustration with being a Mets fan at the time that the Mets were being regularly slaughtered by the Phillies, back when Rollins was playing like a mofo. And Philly is a garbage town full of garbage people, and that's the way we like it, you fuggin' jergoffs. Hmmph.

One game Shane ran down and caught a massive shot into deepest center field and then fired an absolute perfect strike to home plate, 405 feet, in time for Carlos Ruiz to tag out the runner from 3rd. It was astonishing.

Yep, and the sound is awesome, the thud and then her whimpery moan.

Who Pooped the Bed? might be my all time favorite episode. Of TV.

Holy Shit, that is my all time favorite moment on the show. It cracks me up like a mental patient just thinking about it. I think it was a BMW she slams her coconut into.

But he's now a Dodger and that's a worse punishment than you or God could ever inflict upon him. Ha! The Dodgers…

There is an actual Paddy's Bar and it's very similar to the bar on the show, but it's a little smaller and actually grubbier, and it's not in South Philly. Paddy's is in Old City on Race Street. It was one of the very last bars in Philly to ban smoking. They probably still smoke inside there, anyway.

Why are you sparing Chase Utley your raging contempt? He's double the dead weight Rollins ever was. Rollins is actually a very nice guy and he's the Phillies' all time hits leader. Oh, now I understand…

What about the episode "The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell" when they're back in Colonial times and Cricket plays a sophisticated military officer.

We pelted Santa Clause with ice balls and D cell batteries!!

No, Sweet Dee is more so evolved into an iconic and masterful expression of female depravity (and is my favorite character on the show!), whereas Amy Schumer has constructed a formidably impressive monument to the essence of feminine insecurity and irrationality, which are very different afflictions.

Even the most horrible, despicable, repulsive, psychopathic thing they ever did on the show is still not as disgusting and terrible as actually living in Philadelphia. I keed, I keed. I lived in Philly back in the mid to late 80s when it was a miserably dark and philthy place with sanitation worker strikes, the crack…

No, on some nights I was stone cold sober when I'd experience that unique and amazing Grateful Dead moment. If I tripped or smoked at a show I'd notice that while the experience might be superficially more intense and fantastical and even emotional it wouldn't be as fully and wholly satisfying in a way that only…