You found a gold mine, apparently. Hmmph.

On the linked page did anyone else notice that the Arizona Cardinals mascot, Big Red, is carrying a bottle of Cardinals brand wine?! And I'm not sure but I think it's also carrying a giant Cardinals brand bong. That freaky bird is flying very high.

The Constitution of the United States of America - Clearly set up to fool dumb people. Hmmph.

The AV Club is like the witness protection program for original jokes.

And why did we lose the Peloponnesian War?

And also because the NIH has quarantined Gentle Herpes and everything issuing forth from him. He's highly contagious. He's virulent.

Because it's a disgrace, that's why! Hmmph.

It was dove's poop.

I wrote that. Well, actually I transcribed that.

So, which is the more serious offense - the cutting or the pasting of the tweet?

Sorry, I edited and then reposted and then moved my original comment. I'm a mess.

I also like to use Twitter to teste out my jokes…

That really takes balls. Or lacks balls…

I repaired the self propel mechanism on my lawn mower because pushing it without mechanical assistance is about as much fun as watching an Adam Sandler mooobee. Shoopie doobie doop joob…

Only kind of? You seem utterly disconnected and unresponsive. Hmmph.

Shits and giggles. Hmmph.

A film responsible for unleashing upon the world the miserable meaninglessness of "Life is like a box of chocolates…" is no friend of comedy. Hmmph.

No, Cheers is an example of American pop culture.

It's BEAUTIFUL!!

More like Lancealittle. Hmmph.