I bet the muzak was redirected to an unsuspecting elevator or waiting room where the owners were perpetually dismayed at the mysteriously playing tunes. WTF?!!

Just as the Church uses their charities for children to win good will among the public while simultaneously subjecting millions upon millions of women in third world nations to Medieval morality forbidding them birth control or any other means of gaining even a speck of self determination or empowerment. Walmart lies,…

In NYC they cleverly renamed the Walmart Nordstrom.

Oh sure, Costco does really well, harvesting and selling the vital organs of their slightly better paid, moderately healthier employees who all mysteriously disappear after 5 years of faithful employment, just before they become eligible for full benefits. Hmmph.

As per the video instructions, I cut off my ears and mailed them to the Milk Council. Hope I win!

Those aren't headphones, they're headphonies. Hmmph.

Click bait. Hmmph.

A caboose?

And then did he insist that you be nice to his best new friend, Ann Coulter? That's something that really and truly stunned me, when he would defend Ann Coulter's retched, vile babblings as expressions of humor. Dennis actually thought of that repulsive bleached skeletal hag as a sly satirist. His perception is so…

And I infer from your insinuation that the topic of this sub-thread excites you greatly. Hmmph.

You're depriving @pheeze:disqus of his only source of income, which is the nickels and pennies that AV Club comment readers toss into the virtual hat next to pheeze's comments. You're a bad person, Lemon. A very bad, sour person. Hmmph.

Wouldn't this would be an excellent time and place to offer at least a sample, a morsel, a taste of the type of evidence or facts which you'll be presenting in your expose? It's good marketing.

The greatest trick the secret un-elected inner government pulled off was convincing otherwise intelligent, sane people that the government was too incompetent to manage a secret inner government, which is the real government, the one which keeps the alien overlords from having to interact with all us grotesque…

Perhaps my intentions would have been that much more clear and unmistakable had I ended my brief but potent missive with the words Chachie? Hmmph.

And I imagine him running over your foot with his Hummer didn't win him any Bestie Points?

Dude is my manservant's name. You may address me as Beneficent One. Hmmph.

Channel?! We watch networks now. Hey everybody, Rip Van Winkle just woke up! Hmmph.

Very hard…thanks to this nifty blue pill !

If John C. Reilly doesn't at least make a cameo appearance I'll be so depressed, almost as depressed as a I get from watching even 10 minutes of any Lifetime movie.

Uh, it was supposed to look awful. A-doy. Hmmph.