I'm genuinely mystified and even disappointed to learn of some of Dennis Miller's archly conservative political leanings, but I still find him reasonably amusing and he still seems to be a reasonably pleasant and decent person.

Yeah, that's how bad it is. Hmmph.

Molly Hatchet!!

When I hear Viet Nam Vet I think of anyone who's eaten at that weird restaurant 'round the corner, Diem's Dim Sum Dungeon, and lived to talk about it. Hmmph.

Does she make him wait to have sex?

"Hey, what here is going on?!"

Ordinarily an entourage includes a brilliantly blazing star at its core encircled by successively lesser bodies benefiting from the star's radiant warmth. But here it means a nearly invisible mysterious black hole entity and a rat-tag constellation of dimwitted doomed drones all of which mindlessly, slavishly orbit…

Intellectually handi-capable. Hmmph.

I believe she makes an occasional appearance here in between her regular duties as a seamstress dummy for an illegal sweatshop manufacturing knockoff versions of designer prison wear and as the first assistant of the US ambassador to the People's Republic of DisneyWorld.

My nephew is a young practicing successful neurologist at the esteemed University of Pennsylvania Hospital who consistently graduated in the top 5% of his class, and he smoked pot regularly since his junior year in high school. Not like a Rastafarian Priest, but often and with increasing quantity. He's able to…

You are supremely entitled to imagine anything and everything for yourself here on the hallowed pages of the AV Club. Go ahead, challenge yourself.

And I might ask you why you spend so much time picking through my garbage cans and asking my neighbors if they've ever seen anything, you know, freaky or weird?

I first considered "horrible in the most awesome way possible," but that sounds more perverse, as though I'm getting off on his repulsiveness. When I was first assaulted by his outrageously grotesque performance I was more stunned and surprised than anything else, my jaw literally dropped. Then it sunk in and resolved…

*faints dead away into a massive pile of cash*

Aw, I was hoping for one more Douchnozzle. Hmmph.

That's what you get for trying to be a human being!

And goodbye Sandler!!

Rodney was awesome, in the most horrible way possible, in Natural Born Killers. He also wrote or rewrote all his own lines.

Wait, you're saying there was a story going on behind all that superficial, trite comedy?! Who knew? Hmmph.

Such an obnoxious little frog! Hmmph.