It is August and also my birthday. Which means that today 1) somewhere school is starting and 2) TV is terrible.

Are we not men?

Soundtrack by Jesse and the Rippers.

"Tell me, doctor, where are we going this time? Is this the fifties? Or nineteen ninety-nine?"

Mister Manager? We just say manager.

Hey, check out who’s on that hog in the rearview mirror.

I am so happy someone else in the world cares about this. :)

Chapter 2 of every BSB book was the one describing the characters. The only interesting thing was that there was usually a description of a new weird outfit Claudia or Stacy was wearing, so I'd skip to that part. Jelly sandals with stickers on them, oh crazy Claudia!

The ghostwriters were seriously terrible. Even as a 11-year-old I could pick out the discrepancies in characters' names and backstories. They even got Mary Anne's mom's name wrong a couple times.

Scarecrow was always one of my favorite B:TAS villains. A really good character conception all around.

I know, I'm mostly kidding. It just seems like they're using "Ph.D." as code for "omg smart wtf lol nerrrrd!" without actually knowing what it is or what people who have one actually do…

I am just bothered by "female literature Ph.D." as it's describing a degree as female (and not describing a woman as "a woman." WHY YES I did take feminist lit.) Also, if she already has a Ph.D., isn't she likely just a "professor" or at least "adjunct faculty"?

Wait, but "Ph.D." is a degree, not a description. Is she getting her Ph.D. in literature or does she have one already? The former would be much more interesting — we could see her applying for fellowships, TAing for snot-nosed undergrads, and flying into a rage when the one esoteric book on Augustan poetry she needs…

Worse, she thinks she's an island in the Lesser Antilles chain.

This is exciting. But "extant copies remaining" is redundant.

On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese…

The first rule of A.V. Club is…

Unless you're playing the Game of Stowing Thrones!

For in that sleep of meth what dreams may come?

In the '90s when we actually read upcoming TV episodes descriptions in the newspaper, The X-Files was always something like "Mulder and Scully investigate a mysterious death." It was cute and became a running joke in the family. But now the Internet has ruined everything forever.