Everyone in America recognizes Office Space quotes. Dudes under 25 recognize 40 year Old Virgin quotes. Ten years from now TPS Reports will still get a laugh. 'You know how I know you're gay' won't.

Nobody in the Midwest uses mayo or cool hwip on lettuce salads. That is just stupid.

yeah, this dude is way overcompensating. If he's all about the pussy, getting as much awesome pussy as he possibly can, then why in his sex tape does he seem to be having as much fun as I do in the dentist's waiting room? I kind of think he knows he's shit and hates everyone for either being smart enough to agree…

Hobart, get fucked asshole. Mitch Hedberg was God.

Burl sucks

bummer

buzzkills
donde esta?

I can think of none better.

Eagle River!?!?!?!

Gloomy Sunday
The Very Best of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader (17, I think) has a really awesome piece on Gloomy Sunday- there were a lot more suicides linked to that song and the songwriter (including, I think, 1 or 2 wives) than this article mentions.

I miss antisemitron, too. That guy was good.

Rumor has it Brett Favre might sign with the Vikings!

Garfield, I'm pretty sure Heat was based on a true story. googles

Tom Arnold owns.

Cliches that work
How about an inventory of cliches that worked? All of my favorite movies have at least one of these cliches in them. Lebowski had excellent, sparing use of a narrator to great effect, I thought. And The Outlaw Josie Wales was basically Tasha's second cliche, and yet it owns.

Oh, shit, I forgot he made Serial Mom. That movie is dope. The part where she runs that other lady down in the parking lot was awesome.

missa bring, you took the words out of my mouth. I can't sit through any of his movies, but on several occasions I've sat in my driveway listening to him give an interview. That happened just a few days ago, actually.

Carl, you know you spelled your name wrong, right?

backlash has already begun homeslice - I think it was somewhere around the time he joined the dismissive, I-know-what's-really-important-because-I-have-kids team of unfunny stand-ups. Can't wait to hear some hilarious observations about diaper changing and play dates and crayons in the wash machine.

actually, Jerry Garcia did get electrocuted.