As the tiny man who works at the running shoe store said to me while pointing at my breasts: "Breast tissue isn't nearly as elastic as muscle.  If you stretch it out, it stays stretched."

I just can't understand how you could take 3 hours to complete a 10k.  You could walk it in 2.

Oh, I get it, because there's a total of 5 characters, so each is a fifth of the show….yeah…ok…

I still don't think I know what second base is.

I got it really easily - I'd have been that upset, too.  It's weird when people whose only social connection is through you hook up.  And Schmidt is really offensive and it violates a person's sense of order if someone that douchey gets someone who a) is super hot and b) is actually someone Jess likes and cares about.

I think that's precisely what I would have though if I showed up in the bar, "OOooh!  The bartender looks like Mark Ruffalo!"

Unfortunately I remember what it was like that age.  Shlubby seems sophisticated and deep when you're 21.   Also, when your age-peers are struggling to develop a 5 o clock shadow over the course of a week, imperfectly removed facial hair is oddly impressive.

No one minded that they essentially lifted a joke from Community? Abed loves Cougerton Abbey, but it ended too soon, so he is introduced to Inspector Spacetime which has so very many episodes that he can't possibly get through them without being satisfied…

Or Caprica

She was born and grew up in the Seattle area (Overlake, according to wikipedia).  The Sleater-Kinney exit that they took the name from is near Olympia, but she was 20 by that time.

Actually!  Eddie Vedder is from Topeka, Kansas.

I pulled Bolero up on Spotify, you know, just to see…and I have to say, it's really not doing anything for me.

Hating cliches is the cliche I hate

If you do, drop me a line.  I'll make you up a walking tour.  It'll be awesome.

Are they like chicken strips but with duck?  Because if so…

I did say, "DABNEY PARK!"

Highest bike mode share in the country. 

That's why this show misses.  The stuff that makes Portland weird are things like having the largest bike ride, and six hundred kinds of beer, and scoffing at people who eat cheese from more than 200 miles away (unless it's European), and styrofoam bans, and alien nativity scenes, and people who say, "Well, I would go…

If the story had turned into them accidentally being mistaken for terrorists, that could have been funny.

I don't actually understand how that works - I was in NOLA last December and it was 65 degrees out - which is slightly cooler than I tend to keep my house.  Well within the definition of room temperature.  And parents were putting their kids in poof jackets, hats and scarves.  What temperature are the insides of their…