Sorry everyone. Sorry. I just can't shoehorn myself into a single gimmick. I have a lot to offer, too much for one shitty hybrid ripoff gimmick.

DO ATTEND CAREFULLY, FUCKTARD, LEST MY OWNAGE FIND YOUR… uh…

I WOULD DO YOUR DEAR MOTHER, YOUNG SIR, SAME AS I DO EACH AND EVERY EVENING

Thanks for the support, Crawling Chaos.

At least I'm trying to bring something to this site. What have you ever done, unregistered commenter who can't even think of a handle?

RECOGNIZE
MR. STEVEN TYLER IS A FINE MUSICIAN WHO CAN BRING THE OWNAGE, BITCHES, AND I DARESAY HIS STYLE OF MUSIC IS METAL AS FUCK AS YOU SAY IN THE MODERN PARLANCE OF YOUR TIME, BUT THE TELEVISED VARIETY SHOW IN QUESTION IS WACK

I DARESAY YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE THIS OWNAGE FORTHWITH

FAINTS DEAD AWAY, BITCH

Except, I'm not really even that successful at it. Maybe I should be looking at this as instructional. Maybe I just need to push it a little bit farther into high concept territory. Take two successful gimmick brands and mix them… Like, I dunno, ZMF plus Elegant Victorian Lady?

I feel like I'm looking in a mirror
All these high concept… gimmicks. I mean, that's basically what I am. I'm "Hasbro Factory", I'm "GI Joe meets Twilight". It's sickening. What have I become?

I know, I know. I'm just a Burl rip off, I'm just stealing everyone elses stuff- You're right, I suck, I'm really bad at this. I've fucked it up just like I fuck everything else up, everything else in my fucking life. This gimmick is an embarrassment and I should just log off and start over with something else, but…

I deserve this. :(

Sorry everyone
I know this isn't the most appropriate place for this, but it needs to be said. Earlier today, I was… irresponsible. I have a lot of anger about this whole "failed gimmick" thing, and I kind of lashed out at my fellow commenters. It probably didn't help anything that I'd been drinking. And I'm sorry…

Whatever man, it's not about the grammar or the spelling, its about ORIGINALITY, something you people KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT

Fuck all of you
You bunch of asswipes who wouldnt know a good gimmick if it bit them in the ASS!!! I came in here with a great one, a great idea, something that everyone here could enjoy and YOU SHIT ON ME, just one SHIT after another, so fuck each and every last ONE OF YOU for NEVER HAVING GIVEN ME A CHANCE

I think that's just called "going to sleep."

I'm trying really hard to think of something gimmicky to say here, but I'm coming up short. Any suggestions?

You know, I worked hard on that gimmick comment up there, and I'm a pretty disappointed that you guys didn't say anything. I'm going to go try TV club and see if the cool people are over there.

Oh man, I don't even know what I wrote up there. I don't want Betty White to starve, just to be clear.

Get ready for some topical gimmickry!