Word Count.
Word Count? What, is J Jonah Jameson running this outfit now?

Onion? More like bunion.
That place has been peddling its bullshit political opinions since the late 1700s. Fuck 'em, especially that goddamn Don Turnbee. Fuck 'em all.

The Man Who Drank Too Much
The best way to piss off Dan Aykroyd is to tell him he's the illegitimate father of your gay black midget daughter. Then mistake him for Garrett Morris. Also, Bill Murray is awesome.

Britney Fears
Obviously she's waiting for the Jonas Brothers to take her under their impressive wings. Fucking duh.

Larry the Pinko Guy
Wow, so this movie is actually kind of subversive. Is Larry The Cable Guy one or both of our generation's Smothers Brothers? Discuss.

Backseat Driver
This is one of my favorite movies, and I got rid of my old DVD so I could pick this one up. I'm a good consumer!

Airplane II
Fuck you guys, I have a drinking problem.

Captain Blood
Haven't seen it, but how 'bout that Errol Flynn huh? Quite the pedophile, so I hear. Also, he wanted to name his autobiography "In Like Me" but they wouldn't let him. They…wouldn't let…him! Ridiculous.

Brain Man
This is one of my mom's favorite movies, but I've always thought of it as inescapably middle-brow (in a bad way). And yeah, I'm one of those people who think of this movie when I hear "autism."

I also see no orange box
And I am registered now , motherfuckers.

Under the covers?
Lest you doubt my identity, Chocolate Thunder, I am now registered.